Everyone’s life journey will be replete with ups, downs, obstacles, and unfortunately even tragedies. Yet we keep wishfully believing that these setbacks are just aberrations and the next phase of the journey will be smooth going. What’s better is to recognize reality and acquire both the physical and mental fitness to carry you through.  

Best Laid Plans

There’s an old Yiddish expression, “Man plans and God laughs.” Like many entrepreneurs, early in my career I had some misconceptions about life in the real world. I thought if I was diligent and worked hard, I could experience a relatively smooth path to improving the lives of babies and their parents worldwide and ultimately be rewarded with Scrooge McDuck-level riches. So, every time something at work went significantly wrong or I ran into the proverbial wall, I went into “woe is me” mode. If only I could create better processes or execute more consistently or hire better people, I could eliminate these nasty setbacks. And, by the way, why are these things only happening to me and not my competitors?    

It was only after we joined JPMA and I had a chance to meet and mingle with other members, that I realized every company was experiencing the same kinds of travails as me. While the “misery loves company” phenomenon made me feel a little better, it still did not eliminate the stress and frustration these problems were causing. What it ultimately did do is make me realize that this was the way of the business world and I needed to learn how to deal with it.

The Bright Side of Pain

Good news! Ironically it turns out that this unavoidable pain is actually necessary for a successful and happy life. As Victor Frankl pointed out in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, discomfort with your current situation is actually essential for mental health. It’s this gap between who you are and what you want to become that gives you the drive to pursue life goals. And it’s making progress towards those goals that gives your life meaning and satisfaction. Same is true for your business.

That’s all good in theory, but you still need a way to keep setbacks from totally discouraging you or completely stressing you out. Persistence is the key to success but it can be hard to keep going when you’re burnt out from running into walls.

Developing Life Fitness

To thrive in spite of (or because of) setbacks you need to be both physically fit and mentally fit. Medical science is recognizing more and more that the two are intertwined. For example, a physical deficit like lack of leg strength can limit your ability to conduct everyday activities which can lead to anxiety or depression. And, chronic anxiety can adversely affect blood pressure and heart health or inhibit your ability to exercise regularly.

The benefits of lifelong physical training are well established and accepted. The training protocols are also well-known. Mental fitness, on the other hand, is not talked about as much but can similarly be improved and maintained. But just like physical fitness, it’s not a one-and-done proposition. Training must be consistent and lifelong. Here are five things you can start doing:

Steps to Mental Fitness

1. Accept Reality. Learn to accept that no matter how much you plan or proactively implement preventive measures, bad things will still happen. This is a fundamental mindset change that will help you deal with the ups and downs of life. Don’t expect perfection in the world, in people, or in yourself. That’s simply not reality.
   
   
2. Choose healthy reactions. Regardless of whether a negative event can be easily overcome—like the loss of a key employee, or not so easily—like Covid 19, recognize that you can choose how to react. The healthy way is to look at every setback as an opportunity to improve—to learn, rethink your priorities, think out of the box, redesign processes, or set new goals. The unhealthy ways to react are to complain, blame others, wallow in self-pity, or give up hope.
   
   
3. Implement a process for organizing your life. Create or adopt some type of life planning and organizing process that helps you capture ideas, set and accomplish goals, and schedule your time. Without it, just the stress of dealing with life’s normal challenges will be overwhelming and there’s little hope of coping with unexpected events as well.
   
   
4. Adopt “brain-conditioning” activities. Build into your daily routine at least one activity that trains your brain to relax, to stay in the now, and to detach yourself from negative thoughts. It could be some form of meditation, Qi Gong, Tai Chi, Yoga, reading, journaling, exercise, or other therapy. The important thing is that you find something you enjoy doing and can keep doing regularly for the rest of your life.
   
   
5. Strengthen your support network. Having close family members, friends, and associates with whom you can share your concerns and bounce off ideas can be a powerful mental fitness resource.  

Next Steps

Take the time to do a personal “audit” of your physical and mental fitness. Make doing that at least an annual ritual. Then make sure closing any gaps between where you are and where you want to be is always one of your priorities. Your company and your well-being will benefit.

As always, if you’d like more information or assistance regarding achieving your business and life goals or you just want someone to brainstorm, vent, or commiserate with, consider taking advantage of JPMA’s Executive Mentor Program by scheduling a free videoconference session with me. I’d enjoy meeting you and helping you any way I can. Check the JPMA web site for more information or contact Kim Libucki at klibucki@jpma.org.

Ron Sidman was the founder and CEO of The First Years, Inc. and former Vice Chairman of the JPMA Board of Directors. He is currently a business consulting resource for JPMA members and serves on the Advisory Board of the School of Entrepreneurship at Florida Gulf Coast University where he also mentors students. Ron is also the founder and CEO of Evolutionary Success, LLC, a life and business coaching company.